So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air – but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.

Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room – and the man was once again unharmed.

Examining Chihuahua At Vet

A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They’re immediately taken back to a room.

Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.

Airplane Ride Costs Fifty Dollars

Mike and his wife Sara went to the state fair every year, and every year Mike would say, “Sara, I’d like to ride in that airplane.”….
Sara always replied, “I know, Mike, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”

One year Mike and Sara went to the fair, and Mike said, “Sara, I’m eighty-five years old. If I don’t ride that airplane, I might never get another chance.”

Husbands Are Waiting For The Nurse!

Four Husbands are at the lobby waiting for the nurse to tell them about the babies their wives gave birth to. The nurse walks up to the first man and says: Congratulations your wife gave birth to twins! The man says: That’s odd, because I work at a restaurant called 2 cities.

Tommy Bought A Horse From A Farmer

A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day.

The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.”

Tommy replied, “Well, then just give me my money back. That’s fine.”

A Circus Couple Wants To Adopt A Child

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.

Unlicensed Fisherman

A game warden catches an unlicensed fisherman in the act.

“You’re going to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket”

A Prince Refrained From Speaking

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

9 Funny Christmas Jokes

Q: How do you know when Santa’s around?
A: You can always sense his presents.

It Pays To Be Yourself

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north.